Success Means Saying no, and that's okay.

The Sacrifices Behind the Win (and Why I Don’t Regret a Thing)

One thing people don’t really tell you when you set big goals is how much you’re going to have to say no. And not just to things you don’t want to do, but to things you do. Late dinners with friends, weekend trips, tailgates, spontaneous nights out. I’ve had to say no to all of it.

There were so many times I felt like I was missing out. While my friends were out at Saturday football games, I was in my car at 6am, driving two hours each way to ride my horses. While they were doing beach weekends or spontaneous getaways, I was driving across states, just me, my dog, and a car full of show gear. And when you say no enough times, eventually people stop asking. Not because they don’t care, but because they already know what the answer will be.

That was a hard pill to swallow for a while. It made me feel disconnected. Like I was giving up my social life and friendships just to chase something that most people don’t fully understand. But I kept going, because I knew what I was working toward mattered to me. I wasn’t choosing isolation, I was choosing commitment.

And honestly, I’ve made peace with that. I’m not someone who needs to be at every party or on every trip to feel included. I’d rather be the kind of friend who shows up when it really counts, even if I can’t be there for every dinner or event. As long as I’m still supporting the people I care about in meaningful ways, I’m okay with missing a few parties. Most of those moments aren’t as deep as they feel in the moment anyway.

The truth is, I’ve never regretted prioritizing my goals. I remember winning a 1.25m final in the pouring rain after days of early mornings, long drives, and after many weekends sacrificed. I was drenched, cold, and exhausted but I won. I had made everyone around me proud, including myself, and I had given my horse the best experience possible in the terrible weather conditions. And in that moment, I thought to myself: I’d so much rather wake up early and be a winner than wake up hungover from a night I barely remember.

I even took a selfie and wrote that exact thought onto the photo, and saved it into my camera roll.

That was one of the biggest mindset shifts for me: realizing that short-term fun doesn’t always align with long-term goals. And that’s okay. It’s not about being better than anyone else or judging what others do. It’s about being honest with yourself about what you’re willing to give up in order to get where you want to go.

I’m still learning how to balance it all, staying connected with people while staying locked in on my goals, but I’ve realized that success does require sacrifice. And sometimes, that just means being okay with missing things other people wouldn’t miss. That doesn’t make you cold or selfish. It makes you focused.

So if you’re in a season where you’re saying “no” more than “yes,” just know you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean you’re falling behind socially. It means you’re betting on yourself, and that’s a bet I’ll always take.